Thinking..too much..

As I've been sitting and doing basically nothing this whole Christmas break I've had alot of time to think.. and that's probably an understatement. 

Let me just ramble on for a bit about the one thing that cross's my mind on a normal day...

THESE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. 

Most of the time when I'm thinking about them i get

frustrated

and

confused

But then I remember the God I serve and how good He is to us. I know that God is going to take care of those beautiful children, I know that they are being watched over the most high King. I just wonder sometimes why I can not do more, more to help them and take them out of the situation they are in. There is literally, I don't think an hour in my day that I do not think about Rwanda, and what I can do to get back there and help. Whether I'm reminded by the tattoo on my foot or the Africa shaped ornament hanging in my car, I think about them and pray. I know, deep down in the pit of my stomach that I'm going to be doing something in Rwanda. God has put such a strong passion inside of me to be there and for those beautiful people. So when I start thinking about that I get,

excited

and

hopeful

I don't know why God would pick a little ol' girl like me to do such a big thing in His kingdom, but I'm sure glad He did and that I get to spend time and see the smile's on those children's faces.

I miss those children everyday.

I pray for those children everyday.

I love thinking about going back and being able to hold there hands again.

I love thinking about going back and playing patty-cake again. 

I love thinking about going back and hearing the song "Baby" sung  by there sweet voices. 

I love those children. 

They have stolen my heart. 

I will  do whatever I can for them. 

That's why I know God gave me faith bigger than my fear.  

And it begins...

I've been deciding if I should start a blog, and today I came to a conclusion after reading another friends blog that I should! I've been wanting to start one ever since I've been home from Rwanda...
which has been the longest 5 months of my life. I want this blog to be about the beautiful children I met in Gisenyi, Rwanda and the lasting impact they have had on my life.

Let me give you a little background.. 

When I was 12 years old I felt the Lord put the country of Rwanda on my heart. I had no idea why, and I had no clue that 8 years later this is where I would be, but it is also greater than I could ever imagine. Through out the years, I would rent every book possible about Rwanda and sit and read them all and continue to pray and ask God what this was about. Mission's was on my heart, but I kind of put it on the back burner not knowing what God wanted.

When I got to my first year of college and

 got connected with an awesome church,

 God began to reveal things to me about

 what I was going to be doing in Rwanda,

 and began to reunite my heart with  that passion

.

I'll give ya a little shorter version from here on out... 

I found some amazing people who were going to be taking a trip to Rwanda summer of 2011. And I took a leap of faith and joined. And from then on out I realized my calling. I spent 2 weeks (which is no where near enough time) loving and holding some of God's precious children in an orphanage of about 600 children... this orphanage is called Noel. And this place has been on my heart ever since I got back.. and will continue to be for the rest of my life. 

I don't know when I will be going back. Hopefully soon. 

I don't know what God fully has in store for me. But I know it's something great. 

I don't know how one girl is going to accomplish all of it. But I know my God will give me the strength

Those children deserve someone loving them.. 

They deserve to know the love of Christ..

They need someone. 

They need Christ. 

I want to be God's vessel in Rwanda. 

This is why I know God gave me faith bigger than my fear.